i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
