so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
