being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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