im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My dick has a subreddit
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
