So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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