Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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