ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
