My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
