Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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