If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
