Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A bitchslap is in order.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize