Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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