you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
