You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
