doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
