It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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