I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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