sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
