ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize