I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
