Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize