i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
