if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
