the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm bleeding and have questions
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
