Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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