We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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