hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
tell your sister to shave her snatch
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
