just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
