meet me or not, i'm out of control
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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