I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
