mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
