THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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