i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
