SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
