when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I won the penis lottery.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
