So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
