How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
