if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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