I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
