fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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