am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
