it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
