It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
