Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
