thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
where are you?
Hypothermia
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
