Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
how drunk are you?
Several
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