you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
