That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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