im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you inspire me to be a worse person
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
