What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
