so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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