Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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