TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
