By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
