I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
