this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
