So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
