Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize