why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You dont lie about slip and slides
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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