dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
