I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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