Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
