i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize