he shaved USA in his pubs
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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