You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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