Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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