I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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