it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
